Welcome to Gearbox Software’s Borderlands 2. While aiming your precision strike against said mechs, you panic to find that your shield is being hacked away with a hatchet by a psychotic, mask-wearing midget who’s reciting awkward sexual commentary in his high-pitched voice while clearly experiencing PTSD flashbacks and threatening to eat your eyes. Meanwhile, the murderous machines continue descending like rail gun bolts from the H-shaped space station in the sky and warping in like so many pylons as flying robots zip past and pelt you with laser fire and humanoid mechs go kamikazi at you, charging up blasts that can be halted only by a zone-sensitive critical strike to their oculi from your sniper rifle. The scene is narrated by a face-meltingly awesome track that crescendos when you enter direct combat. Picture with me, if you will, heaps of concrete and rusted refuse atop an abandoned dam that has been co-opted by a by a gang of marauders whose leader’s name is “Flanksteak.” You proceed along the dam, gun(s) in hand(s), to rescue a friend, when, suddenly, murderous robots warp in like Protoss buildings in Starcraft and begin attacking everything-the marauders, you, probably some birds and other innocent fauna-and the proverbial gaping mouth of Hades opens up beneath you.
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